What I Learned In 31 Days Without Social Networks
/On July 21, some bored, tormented person decided to hack my personal email, then proceeded to hack my Facebook personal profile page. The individual had reset the password and Facebook sent my security code to my personal email which the hacker gladly used.
If you read nothing else in this blog, check your security settings on every online username/password required app that you have and set your multi-factor authentication settings to send you a text message vs. just an email when your password is reset. If I would have done this, my next 31 days would have been a different situation.
The hacker took down my profile photo and put up a Muslim-type flag, according to my brother who happened to see it quickly before Facebook deactivated my personal profile page. Whatever occurred, it clearly went against Facebook Community Standards and not only was my personal profile page deactivated, but also my Instagram page and my Facebook business page for J. Spence Properties. I was the “page owner” for Rise Above It Bakery & Cafe, and both my sister and I were admins; they left the page up, but neither one of us had page roles - so no changes could be made (Can you even imagine running a local restaurant during COVID-19 without Facebook?). Luckily, for the bank where I am the Marketing Director, I was simply removed as a page role and the other admins and the page were fine.
The hacker proceeded to charge $1,000+ worth of Facebook ads on a debit and credit card, tried to change other passwords, and had some sick fun sending emails from my address that included nude photos with a foreign language message to hundreds of people...ever minute for two hours...before I could get my email completely secured.
Luckily, my hosting company had incredible service, as well as my credit card company and my bank.
With Facebook, it was different. But then again, they do have two billion users.
I won’t go into every step along the way of how I tried to get my Facebook and Instagram pages reactivated, as I’ve explained a large portion of that in an earlier blog. While it’s quite a story, I wouldn’t want to upset the apple cart at this point. I am just grateful beyond measure to have it back - there are thousands of people just like me who never do.
But I will tell you that I had a spreadsheet that tracked my efforts - because it was necessary for my sanity. In 31 days, I had sent/read 57 emails, filled out forms at least 16 times, 11 online chats and implemented 30 other methods of trying to get this resolved. Those methods ranged from a Facebook employee filling out a “friends and family ticket” for me, stating my case in a Facebook job application and emailing the top four executives. It also included in the final two weeks - setting up a fake profile under my grandma’s name (who passed away before the microwave was invented, never mind the internet), setting up a fake business page (which I think I will actually start this salvage business) and buying ads for that business - just so I get an online chat with Facebook representative - which is not offered for personal profiles only. In the final days, I was also corresponding with an investigate reporter in a larger market who reached out to Facebook media relations as this was becoming a story of the deactivation being detrimental to my small business and downtown revitalization efforts.
But what I did most of all was pray.
Now maybe - all of this effort seems ridiculous. Actually, it probably is. But I can not explain to someone that has not gone through this what it is like to have both Facebook and Instagram deactivated and the only response being, “Your account was deactivated for violating community standards. This has been reviewed and the decision will not be reversed.”
Sadly, it put me in a real panic. Panic at first that I would lose all of my photos, especially the renovation photos and progress of my property page. Then all of my friends - how would I even remember everyone if I have to set up a new page? Most of them, Facebook is my only way to contact them.
The panic became more real when I discovered that I could not set up a page in my real name. I was banned. How could I be banned? My career is in marketing - how am I supposed to my job effectively if I can’t even get on Facebook and Instagram? And the more I researched, the worse the anxiety became because I read over and over again - “I never got it back” and these people went through the same panic that I was feeling.
But one verse stuck out to me during this crazy situation.
“We know that all things work together for the good of those who love God: those who are called according to His purpose.” - Romans 8; 28.
This wasn’t just a “situation” - this was a “lesson.” Every day of the 31 days that I was deactivated, I’ve known that God was using this to teach me things, to drawer me closer to Him and to strengthen my faith. To remind me that all too often I reached for my phone or iPad to check Facebook when I knew it was during a time normally dedicated to reading His word or a daily devotion or focusing on the sermon. Seriously, how many times have we felt that we don’t have time to pray, yet every day we manage to browse Facebook longer than we care to admit?
I was surprised, actually, how this made me feel and how dependent our society has become on these social networks. Try finding a local restaurant menu or boutique latest offerings. Try listening to a local church service. Try keeping up with the news within your community. Try to buy or sell used items easily in your area. Try any of these things without Facebook or Instagram. It was frustrating.
More so, I was surprised how disconnected and isolated I felt from “my people.” I know this feeling was worse because I live alone and now work from home and we are all a bit socially isolated these days (putting it mildly). So having this access to my “people” and the ability to engage my community on my renovation activities - having that disconnected permanently - was hard for me to grasp. It was also just sad with some of the circumstances this caused. Just one example, one of my close friends had cancer and a group page was set up for his friends to keep up with how he was doing. During my 31 days, Hospice was called in. During my 31 days, he passed away. During my 31 days, a memorial service was set quickly and I didn’t hear about in time to attend. During my 31 days, I could not watch the memorial service that was posted on Facebook until I managed to finally do it with my grandma’s account. On the flip side, it seems like 2020 has brought all of us a reason to “need our people” - a turn of events or news of sickness or whatever...and not having the support system of social networks was just something that I begged God to not ask me to surrender. Not now. Not ever.
My high school basketball number was 21; it’s sort of been a lucky number for me and others in my family. It was not lucky on July 21 when this all happened. It came back, however, with victory on August 21 when I actually received two different emails from Facebook letting me know that my account had been restored, and all the related pages including Instragram were published and active.
I have never been more excited and more grateful - sadly - in my life. I will never know which effort actually worked in getting it restored, or if in fact, it was two different efforts that were actually successful, and it doesn’t matter.
What matters is - I know that God taught me a lesson, like He is trying to teach our entire world this year. We’ve shut Him out of so many places in our lives and in our society, and in so many ways - we are simply stating, “I don’t really have time, God” or “Not right now, maybe later.”
I will continue to be guilty of that, but I know - after this - I am better and will continue to be better. I’ll also appreciate the non-screen activities a bit more...like a walk to get some fresh air, a handwritten card, a visit with family and friends and leaving your phone in the car. Seriously, if you are one of those people who browse through Facebook and Instagram while sitting with friends and family...put it down and look up. There is a bright world in front of us and we all need to embrace that a bit more.
Facebook - thank you so much for reactivating my account, I do sincerely appreciate it and as I always did, I will use it for good, because that’s what we do with God’s gifts.
My grandma, opal talley, holding me in 1969 - way before she made her facebook debut in 2020 in order to take care of me again.
To God, my grandma and some good friends out there that shared my story and made your own efforts to get this resolved for me - thank you. Thanks for the lesson and the reminder. Thanks for having my back. It is so good to be back in the sand box (I had actually told one friend that this time period was like all of your friends getting to go to recess, but you had to stay in the classroom permanently). Finally - it is good to have the weight off my shoulders and to have a peace knowing that God proved once again - I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me - even when it comes to a Goliath like this. I learned a bit about patience (never enough), control (hard to let go of it) and that there is balancing act between giving it to God and also doing your part.
If this story inspires anyone in a similar situation to have faith, pray and to not give up trying - even when the situation appears to “have been reviewed and will not be reversed,” then writing this blog was worth it.